Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Parenting Advice - Or Something Like That

Yeah.  You know when you ask someone what they thing and they tell you?  That’s pretty cool.  How ‘bout when an old lady walks up to you and your cart (with your 5.5 month old in it) at Target and tells you what your baby wants?  No, not so cool.

Addalee and I went to Target to do a little shopping.  That girl is getting to the point where she’ll fight sleep, no matter what.  I knew that our shopping trip would coincide with nap time.  But, she enjoys riding in the car, and being pushed in the shopping cart, so I felt good about my timing.  She’s normally a great shopping buddy (which is pretty awesome, since I love shopping), but today she was having a grumpy day.  She was asleep when we got to the store and walked in.  She woke up as soon as I got her into the cart though.  She loves to look around, so we were just going about our business and “chatting” with each other.  She was soooo sleepy though, and started to fuss some.  Because she likes to look around so much, I covered up the top of her carseat (across the shade and handle…not over her face) with a little blanket.  Just so she wouldn’t have so much stimulation.  She could still see me.  I gave her a pacifier and she started trying to go to sleep. 

Back to my shopping list.  We were rounding a corner when she lost her paci…the horrors.  So, she cried some.  Granted, this was not the blood curdling scream of a hungry baby in Wal-Mart (hate that place) being neglected by super skank parents…this was a 2 second sleepy, grumpy, “give me my paci back” cry. Nonetheless, this kind lady decided to walk up to us, look into her carseat and tell me that she doesn’t like the blanket there.  She can’t see out.  Babies really like to see out.  Wow!  Thanks for the parenting tip!  I stayed polite though, and informed her that THIS baby was sleepy and really needed her nap.  To that, she said, “Well, you’re the mother…” 

Wow.  Just wow.  Yes, crazy lady.  I AM the mother.  Thank you so much for all your help.

I was shaken by that little encounter, and decided to finish up ASAP.  With Addalee being a happy camper again, we got in line.  We were playing with her toys while we waited, and another lady got in line behind us.  She came up to the cart so that she could see the baby, and Addalee gave her a precious little smile.  She told me about her children and their personalities…being friendly like Addie.  Then she asked me if this was my first.


Slow motion… “Yes.”  Who said that?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!  Did I just say that?!  That sounded like my voice.  I’m almost certain that I said it, but have no idea how it happened.  I can’t believe I answered yes to that question.  It was too late for me to drop the real truth on her, so I just smiled and shook my head about how much of a blessing children are and how much they change your life…for the better.  She was being nice.  And I freaked out. 

I always say that Addalee is our second, and manage something about Caroline.  Of course, I don’t always go into the nitty gritty details of our life story, but I try to include her.  Sometimes I just say that Addie is our second child, and people don’t really ask much more.  Other times, I say that our first simply didn’t make it, or possibly even that she was stillborn in the 39th week.  This time though, I didn’t.

I walked away from that shopping trip feeling pretty frazzled, honestly.  Who knew a Target run could be so exhausting?!


  1. Oh Nicole, I'm sorry. That question is always hard. I have never figured out a way to answer it that doesn't make people look at me in horror. Most of the time I just hope they won't ask. Most of the time they do. :(

  2. I'm sorry - I hate when that happens. I always try to be prepared, but sometimes it catches you off guard. And I would have been super annoying by the parenting advice as well. I don't know why people think that's ok - ugh, so annoying

  3. Not cool old lady, not cool. I think no matter where you are or what you are doing some one will ALWAYS have an opinion on it, but the people that actually come up and say stuff are in a different category. Sorry you had to deal with her, but clearly you had the situation under control as you ARE the mom and know what Addie needs. I would say one point for Nicole and a big fat zero for the old lady ;)

    As for the "Is this your first" question. I am like you where I always say no, but I can imagine a time where it could just slip out...I mean who wouldn't love to just have that tiny "normal" moment even with a stranger. That lady doesn't matter to you at all so whether she gets to know about Caroline is your business.

    Sorry your shopping trip was such an event! xxxooo

  4. People are ridiculous with their opinions and such. :( I'm sorry you had to deal with this.

    The answer to that question... Is this your first.... lways so hard. I always say no, and am prepared for variations of; where is your other baby, how old is your first? Is your other a boy or a girl? Gah. Brutal.