I need to get better about posting again, like seriously. I guess I’ve just gotten out of the swing of things. We went through a strange “what have you done with my baby” phase recently with Addalee when she stopped sleeping. I mean, like just wouldn’t do it. Any time. At all. None. It was ridiculous. And I cried. It was dumb. We honestly have no idea what happened to her. One night, it was night time as usual and the next night, nada. So, after a week of sleeplessness, I wasn’t fit for much but surviving. And it’s taken me a (very long) while to bounce back.
During the sleepless nights, I thought of Caroline some. I wondered if we would have done this with her. I wondered if she would have been an easy sleeper, or require lots of work. I thought about all that could have been, would have been, should have been…long nights made longer by a wandering mind.
But, here we are. She’s sound asleep in her bed, back to mostly normal. Whew.
Everything is moving along. Addalee is growing and changing each day, learning new fun things, being adorable. I almost can’t believe she’s mine, and she is really here.
We have some additional news to share…I actually have been waiting until we could have some pictures made, and I was going to post them. But it’s taking too long to get them back, and I just can’t hold it any more:
(She was having an I-don't-want-my-picture-made-AGAIN-mom kind of day...)
Addalee is a little AND big sister! I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant with Caroline and Addalee’s little “squiggle” (because that’s what he/she looked like in the first ultrasound!)!!! Wow! We’re so very excited, and so very nervous. I want to go back to how it felt when we got pregnant with Caroline and believe that after 12 weeks, all is well, but I know that it can all fall apart at any point. So, I’m walking on those eggshells once again. I can honestly say though, that to this point, it’s slightly less scary than my pregnancy with Addalee. So, that’s a blessing, and I’ll take it.
Sharing this news is always a delicate situation. I know that there are others who read this that are hurting, and the news that someone is expecting is like salt in the wound. I pray that my news isn’t hurtful to anyone. I debated on sharing it here, but decided that this is my life, it’s real, and it’s what is really happening in Caroline’s family. This little person is Caroline’s sibling, too. It would feel dishonest to hide it. This is part of the reason I've been MIA for a while...in addition to the lack of sleep!
So, with that, I’ll leave you with a goofy picture of Addalee laughing at the grass. :)
(She actually does have some hair now, it's just super blonde, and mostly in the back! Ha!)