Hello from a snowy December day. Things are plugging along. We're hurtling toward Christmas at an alarming rate. Am I done with my Christmas shopping? That's a big ol' NO! Am I going to stress over it? An even bigger NO! :) I have been embroidering some stuff to give as gifts, which is enjoyable and therapeutic. (Or as Barney Fife would say, "therapetic")
I was reading the Our Daily Bread devotional book. I found this devotional. It is written by Dennis Fisher. It kind of struck a chord with me. Before going through all of this with losing Caroline, I knew that people lost babies all the time. I mean, even my own grandmother lost her first child before he was a year old. We talked about Jimmy a lot, he has always been very much part of the family. I just knew that I would never be strong enough to go through something like that. And since I wouldn't have the required strength, I assumed it just wouldn't happen to me. It's not that I thought I was "too good" or that I was above something awful like this, I guess I just thought I couldn't possibly have to live through this. Also, I think most of us have gone through things that make us think, "This is the kind of thing that only happens to other people or other families." But, it does happen. Things happen to people all the time. And, I am trying my best to give my God, who has been so good to me, my gratitude and trust. After all, he will turn my sorrow to dancing.
Psalm 30:6-12 (HCSB)
6 When I was secure, I said,
"I will never be shaken."
7 LORD, when You showed Your favor,
You made me stand like a strong mountain;
when You hid Your face, I was terrified.
8 LORD, I called to You;
I sought favor from my Lord:
9 "What gain is there in my death,
in my descending to the Pit?
Will the dust praise You?
Will it proclaim Your truth?
10 LORD, listen and be gracious to me;
LORD, be my helper."
11 You turned my lament into dancing;
You removed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness,
12 so that I can sing to You and not be silent.
LORD my God, I will praise You forever.
Actor Christopher Reeve was paralyzed in a horseback riding accident in 1995. Prior to this tragedy, he had played the part of a paraplegic in a movie. In preparation, Reeve visited a rehabilitation facility. He recalled: “Every time I left that rehab center, I said, ‘Thank God that’s not me.’ ” After his accident, Reeve regretted that statement: “I was so setting myself apart from those people who were suffering without realizing that in a second that could be me.” And sadly, for him, it was.
We too may look at the troubles of others and think that it could never happen to us. Especially if our life journey has led to a measure of success, financial security, and family harmony. In a moment of vanity and self-sufficiency, King David admitted to falling into the trap of feeling invulnerable: “Now in my prosperity I said, ‘I shall never be moved’” (Ps. 30:6). But David quickly caught himself and redirected his heart away from self-sufficiency. He remembered that he had known adversity in the past and God had delivered him: “You have turned for me my mourning into dancing” (v.11).
Whether He has brought us blessing or trial, God still deserves our gratitude and trust.
I can always count on God, my heavenly Father,
For He changes not; He always is the same;
Yesterday, today, forever, He is faithful,
And I know He loves me, praise His holy name. —Felten
In good times and bad, our greatest need is God.
Always her mommy,
I love this post Nicole. About 2 weeks before my sweet Aiden was born still, I believed my life was picture perfect. I even began planning a tattoo I wanted to get to remind myself, and to show others, just how perfect it was and would forever be.
ReplyDeleteHa. God showed me! For a while I thought maybe God was punishing me for my arrogance and ignorance. But now I know he had a much bigger plan than that. I cherish what I've learned from my sorrow and heartache. And I am proud of what my Aiden has done for me.
"Whether He has brought us blessing or trial, God still deserves our gratitude and trust."
Nicole-
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your comment on my blog, I had to come over and read about you and Caroline. My heart continues to ache for you after seeing your blog last night. It takes me back to how I felt two years ago, when I was facing my first Christmas without Felicity.
I will continue to pray for you - it will be a great honor to do so and to follow you in this grief journey. God is and will use Caroline's purposeful life and your testimony for His Great Glory! You are a willing vessel and He is a great God!
The road ahead is going to be full of bumps and twists and I will pray that you and Arthur will continue to grow strong together as you grieve and that you trust in God's unfailing love.
I imagine Caroline's preparing for Christmas too! May you find comfort today!
Blessings,
Rachel
Nicole,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I found your blog. I love seeing how God is shining through you. I also read Daily Bread's and felt the same way when I read that very one. Another good daily devotion you may like is "streams in the desert" www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/desert/ This one has helped me a lot.
After reading Rachel's comment about Caroline preparing for Christmas I just started to imagine it... Even though in my selfishness I would give anything to have my Ava here with me on Christmas day, can you imagine what Christmas would be like in Heaven??? Amazing.
I pray that God will allow you to feel him holding you through this time, that he will give you more good "hours" than bad and eventually more good "days" I pray that he will make himself known, that he would speak to you and through you and that he would use baby Caroline's precious life, although much shorter than we wanted, to bring him immeasurable glory:)
Tonya