Tuesday, May 7, 2013

It's Almost Here...Again

It's that time of year again. Mother's Day.

I'm happy to say that I don't dread it nearly as much as I have in years past. But it's still kind of an awkward day for me. I'm not completely sure how to handle myself. I don't know if I'll be able to just be in the moment and therefore overall cheerful and happy, or if I'll be sad thinking of the girl who should be here, but isn't. My guess is that I'll land somewhere in between.

It's also a day that my family doesn't know how to handle me. They don't know if they should say something, or just treat it as any other day. I suppose they are just following the lead I set back on Mother's Day after Caroline died. They are just letting it go by without any hubbub. Truth is, I want to be recognized now. I want to be appreciated for the 3 girls that I've birthed, and the 2 girls that I spend my days with. Somehow saying nothing feels worse now.

I do know that I kind of hate TV right now. I despise all the Mother's Day commercials, they just make me a crying mess! I'm thankful Netflix doesn't have commercials!!

Overall, it really is just another day. But it's a day I'm going to try to enjoy this year. I hope that the other moms in the same boat as I am are able to find at least some joy. I know I'll be thinking of all of the sweet babies we're all missing, the ones that made us mothers, the ones that were joining our families with open arms.

So, Happy Mother's Day!


  1. I love your post today girl. I feel the same way. I went to the March of Dimes office yesterday to turn in money and while I was there I purchased 3 pink angel wings (to symbolize babies who have passed) and one large sign with Caroline's name on it. I spent 40 bucks total and came home and told Bobby that that was my Mother's Day gift. :) Bobby said that he'd also like to make me breakfast but thankfully that's about it (and all I'd like to handle). Those 2 simple things are all I need or want for Sunday!


  2. Oh Nicole, my heart hurts for you. I know how it feels to be "celebrating" a happy day with someone you love missing. I think Mothers Day is a complicated day for many people....I think that people definitely follow your lead and want to acknowledge all 3 of your beautiful daughters.

    Hang in there and lots of hugs,


  3. I'm not sure what to think, either. No one is sure how to approach things with me and frankly, neither do I!

    I always want this day to be low-key. Something about being quietly thankful for what I have and missing what I don't. It's definitely full of reflection over here.

  4. Benn kinda avoiding thinking about it altogether. It's happy, it's bitter, it sucks, it's wonderful.