Her eyes were blue. Caroline’s eyes were the same color as her little sister’s eyes. I just learned this TODAY. I know that sounds weird, but it’s the truth. I didn’t look at her eyes in those 4 hours I spent holding her. It’s something that I have kicked myself for since the day of her funeral. I didn’t look at her eyes. I could only use my imagination to visualize her eyes.
I was talking to my mother-in-law and mentioned that I hated that I missed my chance to see my sweet girl’s eyes. I cried as I told her that I didn’t know if her eyes were blue like her Daddy’s (and now her sister’s), or if they were brown, like mine. She simply said, “They were blue.” I told her that I had always visualized them being blue, in my dreams, in my thoughts, they’re blue. I thought she was just guessing as Arthur and I have been in these almost 2 year without her. But she went on to tell me that she did look at them. Wow. I have one more tiny piece of the puzzle of my girl that I didn’t get to keep.
It might seem like a small detail (to those who haven’t walked this path). But when you only have precious few hours to capture a lifetime of memories, every.single.thing. matters. I didn’t do things exactly as I wish I had. I missed things that I will always wonder about, but I did the best I knew how to do given the circumstances. But today, I can tell you, her eyes were blue.