Well, Christmas time is here again. Whether we're ready or not, it's upon us. I honestly don't know exactly how I'm feeling about it this year. Last year was really tough, it was only 2 months after we lost Caroline. I was only just surviving at that point. I remember decorating the house just on auto-pilot. There were some things I didn't even remember getting out.
This year is completely different. We have Addalee here. It's amazing to have this gummy-smiling sweetheart of a little girl here with us. But there's a big sister missing. And her place in our family is WIDE OPEN. I can feel the heaviness of her absence every single day, but maybe even more-so with the holidays. So, I guess I'll explain my feelings as happy and so sad. Just as they are most of the time, only magnified by all the lights and songs and happy family movies, etc.
I am thankful for my amazing family and I'm excited to get to spend time with all of them. Everyone has traditional things that they love to make each year. We actually kind of switch it up...we have a pool of things and just pick different ones each year. My grandfather, or Papa, as we called him, was an amazing cook. He helped my grandmother in the kitchen and out. He was such a great man, and we miss him terribly. My grandmother gave me his fudge recipe years ago...it was one of his favorite things. So I made it. And so should you.
Here's the recipe:
This year is completely different. We have Addalee here. It's amazing to have this gummy-smiling sweetheart of a little girl here with us. But there's a big sister missing. And her place in our family is WIDE OPEN. I can feel the heaviness of her absence every single day, but maybe even more-so with the holidays. So, I guess I'll explain my feelings as happy and so sad. Just as they are most of the time, only magnified by all the lights and songs and happy family movies, etc.
I am thankful for my amazing family and I'm excited to get to spend time with all of them. Everyone has traditional things that they love to make each year. We actually kind of switch it up...we have a pool of things and just pick different ones each year. My grandfather, or Papa, as we called him, was an amazing cook. He helped my grandmother in the kitchen and out. He was such a great man, and we miss him terribly. My grandmother gave me his fudge recipe years ago...it was one of his favorite things. So I made it. And so should you.
Here's the recipe:
Seriously. Make it. You'll thank me. :)
And Merry Christmas from our family to yours!
Merry Christmas...beautifully articulated post. This is our first Christmas since the loss of our twins in August and I'm just not sure how it's going to go. I really wish it would just go away. My heart couldn't be less in it.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to all of you, Nicole. What a precious baby you have in sweet Addalee! Much love.
ReplyDeleteThis Christmas is definitely a little different isn't it? It didn't hit me till I cried myself to sleep on Christmas Eve. They'll always be missed and we'll always love them and wish it were different.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas and wishing a very Happy New Year to you and all your sweet family! <3