They Were Blue

Her eyes were blue.  Caroline’s eyes were the same color as her little sister’s eyes.  I just learned this TODAY.  I know that sounds weird, but it’s the truth.  I didn’t look at her eyes in those 4 hours I spent holding her.  It’s something that I have kicked myself for since the day of her funeral.  I didn’t look at her eyes.  I could only use my imagination to visualize her eyes. 

I was talking to my mother-in-law and mentioned that I hated that I missed my chance to see my sweet girl’s eyes.  I cried as I told her that I didn’t know if her eyes were blue like her Daddy’s (and now her sister’s), or if they were brown, like mine.  She simply said, “They were blue.”  I told her that I had always visualized them being blue, in my dreams, in my thoughts, they’re blue.  I thought she was just guessing as Arthur and I have been in these almost 2 year without her.  But she went on to tell me that she did look at them.  Wow.  I have one more tiny piece of the puzzle of my girl that I didn’t get to keep.

It might seem like a small detail (to those who haven’t walked this path).  But when you only have precious few hours to capture a lifetime of memories, every.single.thing. matters.  I didn’t do things exactly as I wish I had.  I missed things that I will always wonder about, but I did the best I knew how to do given the circumstances.  But today, I can tell you, her eyes were blue.